Letters to my Inbox "Dear Abe"

“Am really enjoying your posts...thanks for your willingness to share...”  

 Think how much more you would enjoy them if you put a monetary value on them and send it with your next missive.

“After eating foods how do i stop acid in my tummy to stop wanting to come up? I've tried bred excep it only works for a little bit and how do i eat foods without getting an upset tummy? Its becoming a very huge problem my mom keeps getting mad at me for wanting to get food that don't make my tummy upset as bad and thats veggie's with pasta's and chicken mixed into it like popcorn chicken or chicken nuggets or white canned chicken yet the canned chicken with the water or what they put in it like chicken noodle soup upsets my tummy and the acid has a hard time staying down. Whats wrong with me? I've had this problem for a very long time i'm unable to remember when i didn't have it its why i never enjoy food i enhail it even thou it tastes great or bad it never seems to agree with my tummy.” 

My advice to you is to get a tummy tuck, back up from the table, get your lazy butt off the couch and get a job. 

“I need some kind of help, I have some problem where I get really tired then like an hour later it goes away. I don't know what's wrong, and it's been happening for a week.”

I would suggest that you pace 4 and ½ steps forward and pirouette about face and pace 4 and ½ steps back.  Fold your hands behind you as if you were contemplating something which might be difficult as reasonable assessment doesn’t seem to be one of your strong suits.  Do this until you have worked up enough lather that you fall on the ground, and while there just go to sleep.

 “Am thin and i want to put on weight ,what should i do?”  

 Throw out your Ken doll since you obviously are not happy and get a cabbage patch doll and lower your standards of expectation.  You can visit person #1 above since they can’t stop eating.

“Was wanting to know what is a fatty liver and what causes it?”  

 Look you gluttonous pig, quit worrying about your fatty liver and get out there and worry about someones skinny liver because they don’t have enough food on the table.